Understanding Me

Looking back , I know i can certainly write something about myself.I guess, im in an All-Time-Low in spirits! I'm trying to figure out what might be the reason for this Not-So-Great Feeling. Actually , I know the reason but my false pretense is over shadowing it.
I don't feel right anymore and i have been denying this for long. Tension is building inside and I'm drowning in suffocation.

Sometimes I feel ,Like I wanna leave this place for good
Under the ground ,I'll live down there without a sound
And never hear ,These hissing voices all the same
I'll disappear ,Causing living makes me feel ashamed

I must believe ,There's more above us and below
I must believe ,Stranded with this bitch called hope
It keeps me here ,When all I wanna do is go
It keeps me here ,When all I wanna do is disappear

If this is it ,When all we have and ever will
If this is it ,Time is running out and standing still
I'll leave today ,Cause there's nothing left to keep me here
I'll fade away ,I'll turn my back and disappear

The city moves ,Lunges up right from the ground
The seething Earth ,It opens up and spits us out
This vicious child ,Nature never wanted us
This vicious child ,A cancer burning black into it's heart

If this is it ,When all we have and ever will
If this is it ,Time is running out and standing still
I'll leave today ,Cause there's nothing left to keep me here
I'll fade away ,I'll turn my back and disappear

:(